Apologizing in the New Media Age
Is it my imagination or is everyone apologizing, (I mean it) sincerely apologizing? Long ago the apology really meant something. Plato was perhaps the first to make one famous in Socrates’ defense against charges of corrupting the young, rejecting traditional gods and creating new deities. But where Plato intended it as a formal defense of a cause or one’s beliefs or actions (source: Wikipedia), the apology has become today an escape valve for celebrities and politicians in hot water.
An obscene gesture, a racial slur and a botched punch line are the latest reasons to say “I'm sorry.” Just ask Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick, actor Michael “Cosmo Kramer” Richards or Senator John Kerry who have recently been brought before the court of public opinion for their actions.
Now I understand the importance of an apology. Admission of guilt is the first step on the road to rehabilitation. But it seems to me that the apology is becoming so overused as to be meaningless or cheapened.
But the media looks for them as if apologies were part of some morality play. And why do we, the public participate in this media circus? Perhaps it is a need for restitution, a desire for a shared feeling of redemption, or maybe something else. The Germans have a word for it – schadenfreude -- the pleasure we take in the misfortunes of others.
Personally, I take no pleasure in another’s pain, no satisfaction in hearing an excuse for inexcusable actions.
Ironically, where media personalities seem to be in a rush to say I'm sorry for indiscretions, companies are not. Whether it’s a concern about liability or a belief that a statement of contrition will feed the flames, corporate executives are often reluctant to issue formal apologies. Their silence can be deafening especially in the age of 24/7 cable and YouTube where everything is recorded by cell phones and digital cameras and distributed for the world to see over and over again.
The fact is apologies are an important component of corporate communications and a critical part of managing a crisis. With so many apologies flying around these days, they should not be made lightly. There is a time and a place to issue them that is commensurate with the reason for making them in the first place. As Dan Keeney has summarized eloquently:
An obscene gesture, a racial slur and a botched punch line are the latest reasons to say “I'm sorry.” Just ask Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick, actor Michael “Cosmo Kramer” Richards or Senator John Kerry who have recently been brought before the court of public opinion for their actions.
Now I understand the importance of an apology. Admission of guilt is the first step on the road to rehabilitation. But it seems to me that the apology is becoming so overused as to be meaningless or cheapened.
But the media looks for them as if apologies were part of some morality play. And why do we, the public participate in this media circus? Perhaps it is a need for restitution, a desire for a shared feeling of redemption, or maybe something else. The Germans have a word for it – schadenfreude -- the pleasure we take in the misfortunes of others.
Personally, I take no pleasure in another’s pain, no satisfaction in hearing an excuse for inexcusable actions.
Ironically, where media personalities seem to be in a rush to say I'm sorry for indiscretions, companies are not. Whether it’s a concern about liability or a belief that a statement of contrition will feed the flames, corporate executives are often reluctant to issue formal apologies. Their silence can be deafening especially in the age of 24/7 cable and YouTube where everything is recorded by cell phones and digital cameras and distributed for the world to see over and over again.
The fact is apologies are an important component of corporate communications and a critical part of managing a crisis. With so many apologies flying around these days, they should not be made lightly. There is a time and a place to issue them that is commensurate with the reason for making them in the first place. As Dan Keeney has summarized eloquently:
- Take responsibility as soon as possible. Apologize as soon after the offense as possible.
- Describe what you did. Don't be vague or use euphemisms that attempt to tidy up your mess. A short, direct statement is perfect followed by a brief explanation of the circumstances surrounding it to provide context.
- Express remorse. Make your apology as heartfelt as you can without assuming liability. Tone is important here. The statement must reflect genuine remorse.
- Shut up. Afterward, be quiet and listen while people tell you how angry they are. If it's really bad, they'll call for your head. Know that you've done the right thing and time is on your side.
- Make it right. In such situations, what you DO always trumps what you SAY. Therefore, symbolic gestures matter. Your attempts to correct the problem and compensate those who have been wronged are essential. However, be careful not to promise more than you can deliver.
Of course in the end, apologies are only as strong as the reputation that precedes them and the actions that follow them. While a word or action can undo years of good will, people will be more forgiving to those who demonstrate sincere remorse and who have consistently made the public’s interest their own.
Let me get back to you.
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